Dead Baby Jokes
You can leave a response at the bottom of this page.Q: What is red and pink and can’t turn round in a corridor?
A: A baby with a javelin through its throat.
Q: What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
A: One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
Q: What’s blue and sits in the corner?
A: A baby in a baggie.
Q: What’s present do you get for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.
Q: What’s purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing it’s hair with a potato peeler!
Q: What’s pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
A: An erection.
Q: Why did the baby fall off the swing?
A: Because it had no arms or legs.
Q: What’s got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.
Q: What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a dead puppy.
Q: What’s grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
A: One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Q: What’s pink and chunky?
A: A baby with leporacy.
Q: Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
A: So you can pick them up five at a time.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Q: What’s pink and spits?
A: A baby in a frying pan.
Q: What’s worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What’s more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
–The Pirahna (aka Piry)
August 22nd, 2005 at 1:38 am
=)) good shit !
July 26th, 2006 at 3:57 am
Q: How do you make a baby crawl in circles?
A: Nail its hand to the ground.
Q: How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the ground
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: You have to take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:08 pm
You people need help!!!!!!!!!!!
August 4th, 2006 at 12:02 am
yes we do
September 12th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
This is awesome!!!
September 12th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
some really awesome fuckin shit dude keep it up!! rock on
September 13th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Q: Whats the diffence between a baby and an onion?
A1: I cry when i cut onions.
A2: Babies don’t bloom in the deep fryer.
September 25th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
i freakin love dead baby jokes!!!!!
what sicker than 10 dead babies in a trash can?
A:a dead baby in 10 trash cans!
September 25th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
THIS IS REALLY GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: WHATS BETTER THAN A DEAD BABY
A: ONE THATS GOING TO HEAVEN!!!!
September 26th, 2006 at 7:12 am
cool
Q: what does a baby in a blender sound like?
A: i don’t know, i was too busy masterbating
not a dead baby joke
Q: what’s the best thing about eating a bald pussy
A: taking the diaper off
September 26th, 2006 at 7:15 am
how do you keep a baby from drowning
take your foot off it’s head
September 26th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Ok… its kinda funny ?!?
Q: Whats better than a dead baby?
A: 1,000,000,000,000 dead babies.
September 26th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
get it zachary!! lol…thats sick and twisted…i like it!!
what do you call a dead baby with no arms or legs laying on the front porch?…..matt.
what do you call a dead baby with no arms or legs
in the middle of a pond?………screwed.
November 4th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
you know i used to have a chuckle, dead baby!! ha ha ha its funny coz ha ha ha well u know, it would never happen! babies don’t die… and even if they do they look the same except dead! right! hahahaha and who cares… its just a baby! no friends, no ones attached right right??? haha and fuck who wants to have kids of their own anyway!! fuck, not me!! bahahaha babies DYING woohoo!
but then i fell pregnant on accident. and i thought HEY we’ll be great parents, this kids gonna be RAD. it’ll be like the funny rock punk surfer kid from hell right! yeah yeah! so 40 weeks of intense and usual pregnancy struggles, you know gettin our own house, calming the oldies down etc etc…. what do you know?
our baby dies!! my water breaks and instead of salty liquid its the thick green slime that is meant to be coating the baby’s internal organs until she is born, pouring out of me by the litre and onto the bed and floor.
HEY HEY who’s laughin now…. i’m in labour for 24 hours!! and at the end the baby comes out and she’s a perfectly formd baby girl….. except…. her left eye is coming out of the socket because she’s GASP actually dead, her skin is peeling off, and blood has pooled in her head. you know what, she actually looks HORRIFIC funnily enough. yep. 8 pounds of perfect, and yet dead and decaying baby girl, that me and my boyfriend just struggled the better part of a year for, that i just laboured and gave birth too!!
YAY…. from then on it was funeral preperations, packing up her bedroom, dealing with milk pouring from my breasts and no baby to feed, grieving a life changing loss, explaining to hundreds of people you bump into where my baby is… you know FUN. and fuck, you should see those people who used to joke about dead babies etc with me or to me before. well, they’re SHITTING themselves when they see me now.
so now its 2 years down the track and no more babies yet coz u know what ITS TRAUMATIC SEEING YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD DEAD AND FALLING APART. and knowing it could happen again, well it’s a bitch!
who knew. oh yes so funny hahahahahaha. good luck if you ever decide to have children. or do you already? well lets hope you don’t have to ever hold their lifeless and weighty body in your arms, cold from lying in a morgue all night. jokes are funny, reality sux
November 5th, 2006 at 1:05 am
8O
November 13th, 2006 at 1:24 am
prost piri , ca de obicei.
November 13th, 2006 at 1:32 am
Din cate stiu eu, teoretic, bancurile au aparut pentru a misca perceptia publicului in legatura cu razboaiele. Mie personal nu mi se par deloc amuzante. Nu vreau sa zic mai mult sa nu-mi pun pe nimeni in cap. Sunt multe lucruri pe care nu le inteleg, dar azi am mai descoperit unul: cum poti sa fii amuzat de “Dead Baby Jokes”.
November 13th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Damn, good job! That jokes kick some… baby asses.
Now, now… Piry’s going international!
Everybody, sing with me!
Piry, Piry, Piry!!!
November 13th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Q: whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborgini?
A: I dont Have a lanborgini in my garage!
November 13th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
1. le stiam
si seci
2. pe mine nu ma amuza deloc ale dracu.. nu stiu ce pana mea vi se pare voua amuzant, ca mie mi se par nesimtit de proaste glumele
November 13th, 2006 at 10:42 pm
Darria lasa ca iti fac un masaj si-ti trece.
November 13th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
*amuzante
mama ei de treaba
November 14th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
…sick shit
December 8th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Whats worse than a baby in an oven?
its remains on a plate in a dish washer
August 9th, 2007 at 6:48 am
q. how many babies does it take to paint a house?
a. depends on how hard you throw them.
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Q: what’s the difference between a dead baby and an apple
A: I don’t gizz on an apple before I eat it